A dear friend of mine recently had surgery and I found myself wondering if she had said anything as she was being put under anesthesia. Then she told me she had the kind of meds in which you stay awake for the procedure (in some ways, that’s so amazing, and in others….well, yikes!). So she didn’t say anything that would get her in trouble or embarrass herself.
Because I was thinking about this, I did another stroll on the internet and found a great blog site in which doctors and nurses report funny things that patients actually do say while going under. Apparently, most of us talk for a while, though we don’t remember it. So, what do we say?
Well, one patient stroked a nurse’s arm while the nurse was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV – the one with the powerful sleepy drugs in it. The patient muttered “You’d make such a great carpet!”
Another one was just going to sleep when the music on the overhead started the song “Billie Jean.” He said, “Glad Michael Jackson could join us” before falling deeply asleep. The music affects many folks, apparently. One patient heard a James Taylor song and said, “I hope this isn’t the last thing I hear!”
An anesthesiologist asked one patient who was drifting off what he wanted to eat after the surgery. The patient replied, “A steak…with peanut butter.”
Being transported from the hospital (in your head) appears to be a frequent occurrence. There was the lady who mumbled into the mask, “Wow, I’ve never been inside a saxophone before!” Then there was a man who asked, ‘How did you get on my rocket ship?”
Politeness doesn’t always rule, but often does. A gentleman was getting his IV meds and being strapped down on the gurney. They told him it was so he didn’t fall off the table and his last words were, “It’s ok, 5-second rule.” Another patient having ear surgery asked, just as he drifted off, “Does anyone need anything while I’m out?”
One young man was going out and called for his mother and father. When they didn’t immediately arrive, he called out for Captain Kirk.
There are just fearful comments and reactions, too. One anesthesiologist was treating a woman and said to her, “I’m putting you to sleep now.” She had the most horrified look on her face and said, “Like a dog?!”
Of course, there are bizarre and unrelated reactions, as well. When one guy was being put under for toe surgery, he said, “Grape soda doesn’t taste like grapes, but it sure tastes purple.”
I’m thinking about all these now and wondering what I say. No one’s ever reported any actual quotes of mine, but there’s this one incident that concerns me. Years ago, I had two wisdom teeth pulled. My husband took me to the appointment and was told the procedure should take no more than 45 minutes. After about an hour and a half, he began to get worried.
At the two-hour mark, he was just about to go inquire about my overall well-being when a nurse came into the waiting room, shaking her head and smiling.
“I’m sorry for the delay, sir,” she said, “we’re having trouble getting your wife to stop talking.”
He thought this was hilarious, but years later, I have to wonder. Just what in the world was I talking about?
those are exactly the stories WE would like to hear!!! With all you have done and said in the past – those stories could be even richer than any previous snippet! keep them coming, we have ears to listen and eyes to read!! NOBODY know the trouble I’ve seen – and I like the meds under while still alert – get to see and hear some pretty good stuff then as well!
In 1962 when I was coming out of sedation my husband told me I was using some of the most vulgar language he had ever heard in his life. He just wanted to leave the room. The doctor assured him that that was normal. I didn’t remember any of it.
Several years ago when I was undergoing cataract surgery, the surgeon said, “Oops, that wasn’t supposed to happen!” I didn’t feel any pain, but I could plainly hear the conversation. The nurse asked, “Who is going to do her follow-up?” I answered, “He is.” You could have heard a pin drop. The cataract had broken into many pieces and it took several months for all those floating things to go away. They looked exactly like insects with legs, antennae and wings. I’m very thankful for eyesight.
You “keep on talking” Susie. Love, love your funny stuff. Good like a medicine!
Bets – you have had some interesting things happen in your life- maybe you need to do a post or pod or whatever they call this system – got a few stories to tell yourself – and you do it well!
I can share a few stories of things I have done recently that might give you a laugh if you need to have a laugh to make you feel healthier!!
John, I would have no idea how to start up a post or pod or whatever they call it. Besides, I don’t think I could continue one as Susie does. Yes, I do need laughs! Hey! You’re a lot younger than I am. Have your sister get you started on a blog or whatever, and maybe I could add to yours! Whaddaya think!