Over the past few years, I’ve come to realize that my ever-present arthritis limits me in more subtle ways than one might think. I mean, the obvious ways – stiffening up after riding in a vehicle for more than ten minutes, knees creaking every morning, and the lower back pain – those I got used to. But there are small ways that sneak up on a person.
Like water bottles. People with arthritis in their fingers and wrists are in serious trouble trying to open a water bottle from a convenience store. First of all, the grip simply isn’t there. This is compounded by the fact that the plastic in these water bottles are so thin, that merely gripping them normally squeezes it together pretty significantly. So if you do happen to be able to twist off the cap – and thank goodness, this is a rare occasion – you get a geyser of water like Old Faithful that comes up and hits you in the face.
I speak from experience. Years of this activity, and I simply hand the bottle silently to my husband, who easily twists off that cap and returns it with a smile. On the rare occasions that I’m out alone and need water, I improvise. You can’t even imagine!
Why are water bottles on my mind? Because as everyone with arthritis will tell you – damp and rainy weather makes it hurt more. So you might find yourself out running errands or having coffee or with friends at lunch and it gets muggy or rainy or damp (we do live in the Midwest). Suddenly, you need some anti-inflammatory and/or pain medication. You try to take this discreetly, but unless you can swallow pills dry (ack!), you must have water. Thus, the water bottle dilemma.
Finally, you get the cap off (often friends assist if your husband isn’t present and in one awful moment a stranger took pity on me) and are ready to take your medication of choice (ibuprofen, Tylenol, etc.).
Right. As if the packaging designers at these pharmaceutical companies ever talked to an actual person with arthritis. It’s not possible. Had they done so, they would never have come up with the bottle lids that require not merely twisting, but usually squeezing and twisting simultaneously. Or pushing and twisting simultaneously. Are they kidding? If I could do either of those movements, I wouldn’t need the stupid pills.
But the insanity doesn’t stop there. I am beginning to think that these people torture small animals as hobbies. When you finally wrench (or pry, or hammer) the twist-off lid from the bottle, you find a protective cover on the top. It usually has a warning – “don’t use if this has been tampered with.” The trouble is, the people who need the medication don’t have the ability to remove the tamper-proof seal.
People with arthritic fingers can often not even get the little pull tab up off the top of it. When we finally do achieve that and pull, the tab comes off – but the sticky lid stays on.
Yesterday, I was reduced to poking at this thing with scissors. I made a hole (see picture), and then still had trouble pulling it off. I finally reached the pills. I poured myself a glass of water (thank goodness I was at home and not in the car). I took a pill and breathed a sigh of relief.
Now the big dilemma. Do I put that cap back on? Or do I leave it off and hope that I don’t knock it over, spilling 80 pills all over the counter and kitchen in the middle of the night? (Again, I speak from experience).
Some clever person somewhere needs to design a pill bottle that children can’t figure out, but old people can get open. It can’t be that hard, can it?
You hit a home run here! Every time I have to take something to my husband for him to open, it makes me feel so weak and pathetic. Usually I can figure out a way to get the job done, but not always. This week I have been clipping down dead flowers, tomato vines, big sunflower stalks, etc. Yesterday my right hand started swelling. A big puff ball came out right in the center of my palm; next one came underneath my wrist and all of my fingers started swelling. I couldn’t even close my hand. What the heck happened? I showed my husband and he said it was just a pulled muscle. Probably overused it with the clippers. Balderdash! I’m thinking it could be a bee sting, but I would have felt a sting.
As evening came the swelling increased in my hand and wrist; it was becoming inflamed. Very warm to the touch. I texted my daughter and her reply was, “Have you thought about gout?” Gout! I thought you only got gout in the big toe. As a child, I remember my mother always got it in her big toe. Google to the rescue! I wanted to see images of gout in the hand. Omg! Those pictures were horrible! Than I asked Google what causes gout. Too much red meat in your diet. Yes, that’s what mom’s doctor always told her. Several other of my favorite foods and wine and stress. WINE!!! It can’t be wine! I take that for a de-stressor!
Okay, so now I have gout on top of my arthritis! I did manage to get the lid off the Tylenol bottle before going to bed, and I managed to squeeze toothpaste out of the tube with my elbow. I’m learning it’s better to stay on speaking terms with your husband during these times. I figure if he wants to be wrong, he has that right.
And Sue, you know if a kid can figure out how to get a child-proof bottle open, that little silver seal won’t mean a thing. They will just chew that off.