Category: Uncategorized (Page 19 of 48)

I use this blog to post a lot of my misadventures in life.  I tend to have funny (and sometimes that means hilarious, and sometimes just peculiar) situations that occur on a pretty regular basis.  Throw in my penchant for exaggeration and I can often bring a smile to people’s faces with my storytelling.
               Unfortunately, the attraction that funny situations have for me (I am a weird magnet!) has apparently been passed on to our son. He had a morning that rivaled one of my own and it went like this:

               He woke up a bit late, which started his morning poorly.  He had an important meeting scheduled at work and wanted to get there in time to be “ready.”  So he took a very quick shower – or tried to!  The shower backed up, so it was quicker than he wanted, and he made a note to contact the plumber that day.            

Pulling out of his driveway, he noticed – unhappily – that his gas tank was a bit low.  He stopped for gas by the interstate.  Pulling adjacent to the pump and pulling out his wallet, he was dismayed to find that he’d left his credit card at home.  But huzzah!  He had $4 and figured he could get a couple of gallons.  (Okay, one gallon, but that would get him to work and back home later).

               He went into the station and tried to be patient while he waited in line to hand over the four dollars.  When he returned to his car the gas tank had somehow become “locked,” which of course he didn’t notice until he had sprayed half the gas ($2.00 worth) onto the side of the car and his pants and shoes.  He got the tank unlocked and pumped in the remaining half gallon.  Being fully aware that this was not sufficient to get him where he needed to go, he headed home to retrieve his credit card.

               Time being of the essence, as the meeting was looming ever closer; he was expecting the ten-minute drive to seem long.  He was not disappointed!  He immediately got behind farm equipment (it is April in Ohio, after all) and was unable to pass them.  Upon arriving home, he raced into the house and grabbed his card – no time to change clothes!

               He drove back to the gas station but again had the fortune to get behind farm equipment going somewhere to create food for us.  He finally got to the station, used his card to fill the tank, and left hurriedly to get to work.

               He arrived in downtown Dayton and at his office with good news and bad news.  The good news was he had one minute to spare before the meeting was scheduled to begin.  The bad news was he reeked of gasoline and his shoes squeaked every time he took a step.

               Plunking into his seat and opening his computer was the final straw on the camel’s back – the mandatory meeting had been canceled!

               There must be an adage or funny saying to cover this type of morning.  In my world, it’s just called “business as usual.” Or, as our son would say, “welcome to it!”

About five years ago, my husband – a tender-hearted man who doesn’t like cats – found a kitten outside in the winter.  This kitten was practically starved and trying to stay warm in our springhouse.  My husband noted that this cat had large blue eyes and some Siamese in her.  Although he doesn’t like cats much, he has tolerated them over the years (because of his deep love and affection for me!).

               He could have taken this cat to the animal shelter or just ignored it.  But having that tender heart, he fed it.  And so… then we had an outside cat to feed along with our large dog and our “inside” cat (the stray that was dumped in our yard the winter of 2015 when the temperatures were below zero). 

               Effie, the inside cat, and Forest, our dog, were fine with the new kitten.  We named her Limestone, and as anyone knows, once you name an animal, you’re all theirs.  So Limestone stayed outside, looking through the storm door as spring and summer came and pawing at it on the occasions Effie was on the other side. 

               When people approached Limestone, she ran (including us) for the most part.  Visitors to our home never saw her, as she had a lot of places to hide and did so with alacrity!  I tried to put a collar on her several times and she always managed to get them off in parts unknown. 

               By 2020, she was nuzzling us when we were outside and often allowed me to pick her up and cuddle her.  She never wanted in the house and still hid from most other folks. 

               In 2021, Effie passed away.   Limestone began venturing into the house almost every day, clearly trying to find her little grey pal.  After a few months of this, she started to curl up on Forest’s bed and sleep in the afternoons.

               Then in 2022, Forest passed away.  From that time on, Limestone slept on his bed (until we got her one of her own), and often napped in my lap.  She would let my husband pet her (he did save her life, after all), but that was about it.  I was the only human she really seemed to feel safe around.

               Limestone would sleep all night on her bed then go out in the morning and cat around (pun intended) until nap time in the afternoon.  She’d eat, go out again until bedtime, then come in for the night.

               This schedule lasted nearly a year.  Occasionally she’d sit on my lap, but mostly she was content in her bed.  A few weeks ago, she came in at bedtime, but wanted right back out.  We let her out and waited about an hour, but she didn’t return.  We went to bed, thinking she’d be at the door in the morning when we got up.

               But she wasn’t.   We traipsed around our property and I even went down to the creek.  With all the rain we’d had, the creek was high and rapid.  I worried that she’d either been taken (no collar!) or swept away by the creek and had perished.  We couldn’t find her anywhere.

               That was a long day for me.  At 9:00 that evening, we were watching television and heard a familiar “plunk” on our porch.  We opened the door and there Limestone was!  She came in and went straight to her food bowl, after which she curled up on her bed and went to sleep.  I was so thrilled, I didn’t check her out.

               She avoided us touching her for many days, until I finally spotted the large cut on her head.  My husband noted the lump.  Something had surely hit her – and hard! – on her head, right above her eye.  We suspect she was unconscious for a while. 

               But she made it home from wherever that happened, and at this time, seems completely normal.  Except….

               She’s now sleeping on Matt’s chair, even when he’s in it.  She gets up on his lap and hunkers down for naps.  She wants to be right by his side, all evening.  My friend says she might feel safer around the alpha male.

               I think she might have brain damage.  Plus, I’m a wee bit jealous.

My space-time continuum is happiest when it’s spring, and we here in the Midwest, get daylight later in the evening.  I know the history, pros and cons of Daylight Savings Time, but for me – it’s fine to get up when it’s dark.  I just love the light in the evening.  So this fall, when we return to “standard time,” and perhaps forever keep it, I will be sad.

               This year, there was a wrinkle in the setting of the clocks.  For eighteen seasons, my car clock has changed the time automatically for me in both spring and fall.  This spring, it did not change.  So I did the smart thing and got out my rarely-used car manual.  Turning to the index, and finding “setting the clock,” I turned to the section indicated – 5.5. Well, I tried to.

               I found 4.9 and 5.12, but there simply wasn’t a 5.5.  So I did the next smart thing.  I looked it up on youtube.

               There I found a helpful video that said go to your “settings” and choose “set time.” My settings button gave me the option to change the display of my speedometer, to change my speed warning setting, and to change what trip mileage I was counting.  It did not, however, give me any type of clock option.

               So I drove around for several weeks (it seemed longer) with my car clock telling me a time that was one hour earlier than reality.

               While the real-time change doesn’t bother me at all, this erroneous car clock completely bamboozled me.  I know this because it messed up my equilibrium and balance.

               After three weeks of this time-space disturbance in my life, I was having a typical day, playing with my husband and our grandson.  As I have often done, I grabbed a toy and began running around the family room, circling chairs, crying out “I have the toy bus, I have the toy bus.” This behavior always elicits massive giggles and a little toddler chasing me.

               I decided to end the game by opening the bathroom door and pretending to “hide” in the bathroom.  This is another normal event that typically results in more giggling and then knocking at the door, with the little guy saying, “open de door!”

               However, my internal clock had been disturbed.  I was off my game.  It was a tear in the space-time continuum…

               As I went to open the bathroom door, I didn’t realize it was already unlatched – so it gave way easily.  Just as I noted that I was going at a great pace than expected through the doorway, my toe caught the carpet and hurtled me into space on a horizontal level.

               The door crashed open.  I did a flying pretzel move in the air, somehow managing to scrape both knees on the hard floor while stopping my forward motion quite suddenly with my head – as the back of it crashed into the our incredibly sturdy and hard bathroom vanity.  Meanwhile, the toy bus I was carrying became lodged in the crook of my arm- bruising my inner arm both below and above the elbow.

               I wasn’t bleeding anywhere, and one ice pack later I could walk normally.  Just some bruising that hurts and a scraped knee.  Oh, and now our grandson knows the miracle cure of ice in a baggie!

               I am convinced, however, that this accident would never have happened if my car clock had just been correct.  This time-space issue was corrected by my wonderful husband – who called the helpline for the car and was able to find the means to change the clock.

               When my clocks are right, it means no more head crashing for me!

            March 20^th has been designated in the Presbyterian Church as Mr. Rogers’ Day.  Mr. Rogers, that iconic television show host of yore, was many things – a husband, father, Presbyterian minister, television icon, and musician among others.  But the most important designation, according to him, was that he was a Christian.

            His famous “won’t you be my neighbor?” was not used without significant thought.  He used the term “neighbor” both deliberately and in the Biblical sense.  Mr. Rogers felt that all the world was a neighborhood, and thus all the people in it were (and are) our neighbors.  He taught and lived that all people should be treated in a neighborly fashion  – with love at best, and respect and compassion at the least.

            So on this day of celebration in honor of Mr. Rogers, we are asked to remember our neighbors and to reach out by simply doing kind things.

            Kindness is a pretty great gift, when you think about it, because it doesn’t have to cost anything and it doesn’t have to take a great deal of time.  Of course, it can take both time and money, but it really doesn’t need to do either.  All that’s required is a little thought on the part of the giver.  A means to reach out and show another person – a neighbor – that you care and are there for them.  That they matter.  That every life is valuable.

            Another benefit of kindness is that it’s good for the giver too.  It’s not only good for mental health, but also good for physical well-being.  Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a stress hormone, which directly impacts stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.

            So, what can we do to show kindness? It can be something simple, of course.  Holding a door open for another person, smiling at a passerby, saying hello, or paying a compliment are all ways to show kindness.

            Asking someone how they are doing – and really listening to the answer – is another wonderful act of kindness.

            We can show kindness to those delivery people who make our lives so much easier – leaving a compliment, making a sign, leaving a bottle of water – all easy ways to show caring.  For Amazon delivery folks, we can even leave a compliment through Alexa.  Monthly, Amazon awards prizes to the delivery person who gets the most “thank yous.”  So kindness is a ripple that makes a wave.

            You can use your own small world to increase kindness in the larger one.  Send emails or free cards to lift up the spirits of folks you know.  Post kind words on social media, and lift up others with compliments and encouragement. Remember to thank police, fire, medical, and workers in 24/7 facilities (such as convenience stores) for their service and hard work.

            If you feel like spending money, most will appreciate real cards, donations of donuts, fruit, etc.  But in general, the kindness that you share without spending a dime will reap generous rewards.

            If we want kindness to be part of our world in the future, we must be part of the wave in the present.  So celebrate Mr. Rogers’ Day with some acts of kindness. You’ll feel better for it!