Adventures in Laundry

               We’ve all had adventures – or misadventures – with laundry!  I know at least ten people (myself included) who have accidentally thrown a red towel in with their whites.  That’s always fun.  You end up with pink shirts, pink towels, and pink underwear.  None of that is too bad – unless you’re not a “pink” person.

               Many of us have also accidentally pressed the wrong button on the washing machine.  Let me digress to complain that when I started doing laundry, there were not so many choices.  All I remember on the washer is “on” and “off.”  And the dryer was basically a hand wringer and clothesline.  So it’s not always my fault that I press the wrong button.  I have to choose between about ten different cycles, five temperatures, four spinning speeds, and remember to put laundry detergent, fabric softener and (occasionally) bleach in the thing!  So it’s no surprise that once in a while the buttons pushed shrink pants or shirts.  The machines set you up for that.

               I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had the laundry room goblins steal a sock from time to time.  I honestly think that all those missing socks end up in the Tupperware drawer as lids to containers that don’t exist.

               But worst of all, for me, is those fitted sheets – especially for a larger bed.  Ack.  Don’t wash them with anything else, and I mean anything.  I did that, and it was a nightmare.  First of all, the spin cycle created one long, tangled, entwined snake of material.  Because nothing that was wrapped up in the sheet actually “spun”, it was all soaking wet in the middle.  That meant it was huge snake that weighed about 50 pounds!

I finally got the massive clump out of the washer whereupon it spilled onto the floor, making puddles.  I wrestled my t-shirts and dish towels from the middle of the thing with great difficulty. In fact, in trying to pull it apart, I slipped in one the aforementioned puddles and cracked my elbow against the wall.  Ouch.

When I stood up, I slipped again and my knee hit the washing machine rather painfully.  When I finally regained my footing, I was a mess.  I was soaked, in pain, and to top it off, when I stood up straight, I cracked my head on the door of the dryer.  Why did I leave it open for heavens’ sake?

So there I was, stuffing sodden clothing back in the washer and trying to find the “spin only” button.  I put the sheet in the dryer and started it on the “sheet” cycle, because I wanted it out of my way.  Then I limped to the bedroom to put on some dry clothes, leaving wet shoe prints behind on the carpet.

There are good reasons I don’t do laundry often.  First, I’m terrible at it (clearly).  And secondly, I don’t have the desire to end up in urgent care for a spin-cycle emergency!