Susie's Snippets

               Many years ago now, I went on a gal-trip to Charleston, S.C. with a dear friend.  On the way, we stopped (as people do) for bathroom breaks and coffee.  It became apparent to us that bathrooms in many of the states were not particularly well-kept. In fact, some were so poorly kept that they were hysterical.

               One of our finds was in West Virginia, where the gas station and its restrooms were part of the tire center, hair salon, and pizzeria.  The bathrooms for men and women were comprised of separate commodes in rooms, both of which opened into a communal area with a sink. This is the same sink, we surmised, that allowed for dish cleaning, food preparation, and hair washing.

               Later, in a more southern state we found a bathroom in a gas station convenience store.  Well, it was attached to the convenience store.  To enter the bathroom, one had to enter the store, then exit by a side door to an attached walkway that was semi-enclosed.  At nearly the end of the walkway, near the back of the building, a room had been added, which comprised the ladies’ room.  Further down at the end, was another added room – for men.  The door to this ladies’ room opened all the way, but only closed to within about a foot.  Straight through this foot-wide opening was the commode stall.  The stall door closed completely, but left a three-inch gap.  So anyone passing by the ladies’ room had a full on view of activities within the stall.

               My friend and I took turns holding her giant sweater up, long-ways, to avoid anyone seeing anything they shouldn’t.

               It was at this point that we decided a coffee-table book entitled “Bathrooms of the South” would be a great venture.  We continued to find unique and sometimes unusable bathrooms throughout our journey.

               Then the world experienced a pandemic, and we forgot about our book idea for a while. 
               Recently, I had the occasion to travel again to South Carolina.  I discovered a whole new chapter for the book!  It will be the “Welcome Centers of Tennessee.” These welcome centers are simply fabulous (and after all, we have to include the good, the bad, and the ugly).  The rest rooms rival a 5-star hotel with amenities, cleanliness, and lighting.  They are roomy and well ventilated.  These are must stops if you are traveling south.

               We also found a restroom on the top of a very high mountain within a gas station.  A restroom, I must stress.  The men’s room, my hubby discovered, was permanently locked.  I started toward the women’s room and a person who can only be described accurately as “an old geezer” informed me, “There’s a man in there, honey.”

               I veered away and feigned interest in the display of key rings.  After a few moments, a man did exit the women’s room and he and the old geezer walked out.  I motioned my husband over and said, “it’s unisex – get in there!”  I stood guard while he did just that, and he returned the favor for me.  Needless to say, we did NOT stop there on our return trip.

               “Bathrooms of the South” is now a project back on my front burner.  I just need to start collecting pictures!  My favorite is the rest room that used the inside door knob as a toilet paper holder.  That’s something you really need a picture for.

               Just about 36 years ago, we attended a church picnic and met the couple who would become some of our best friends.  The man, Steve, was our future pastor, and eventually baptized our baby and later confirmed him in the Christian faith. His wife, Lori, was a teacher who worked in the same building as my hubby and would become like a sister to me.

               We spent a lot of years together with our son and their two daughters.  We watched our kids grow up – donning Halloween costumes, playing Little Mermaid, having cookouts and scavenger hunts, bouncing on trampolines, and playing games in the woods.  As the kids grew older, we commiserated on driving, dating, and the perils of raising teenagers.

               Raising our kids together was one of the reasons we were so close.  There were others, of course.  We shared not only our faith, but also a love of having a good time.  Whenever the four of us were together, you could count on there being good food (and lots of it!), good beverages, games and a lot of laughter.

               Once we were empty-nesters, the four of us took many vacations together.  One, to Blowing Rock, N.C. was especially memorable.  We spent several different trips going to Put-in-Bay, Ohio, which was one of our favorite places. These provided years of laughter over strange hotels, and strange experiences.

               One night, we thought we were all to go out together, so my hubby went over to their room in the hotel.  He opened the door, and sort of waved his hand. Turns out, Steve and Lori thought we were retiring for the evening, so they had decided to try out the jaccuzi in their room.  I am not sure who was more startled by the interruption, but rather than get upset, they laughed.  We all laughed for days and weeks afterward.

               Another trip to Put-in-Bay, we got what we thought was a defective golf cart.  The horn would blow randomly!  After the second day, with Steve driving us everywhere, some island-goer yelled to us “Take your foot off the horn!”  Apparently, the horn button was on the floor of the golf cart and he was tooting it with his foot!  We laughed about “bigfoot” for years.

               Playing games on Sunday evenings was one of our favorite things to do – euchre, charades, board games, and anything that required us to be silly.  Watching the menfolk act out “skateboarding” made us laugh until we cried. 

               We attended a lot of Ohio State games together – both in the Shoe and away games.  Staying in the hotels, tailgating, and watching the games were some of our favorite times.  One of the first away games we attended was in Indiana.  We somehow got on a detour and were on backroads, with no signs of civilization, for what seemed hours.  I know many folks would be frustrated and upset, but it was just more reason to laugh.

               Steve was a brother to us in many ways. We lost him on this earth last week, and it is a void that won’t be filled.  But when I think of him, I have to smile.  Our friendship was built on laughter and will remain one that gives me joy.

               It’s all about the laughter.

               As you know, I’ve had my share of challenges with companies – window installers, contractors, cable companies, and the like.  In this day and age, so much of “service” is an automated calling response (that never seems to understand your problem or question), or being put on hold with elevator music and occasional reminders that “your time is important to us” (all evidence to the contrary).  I thought I had seen, heard, and experienced it all.

               I was wrong.

               This week, a dear friend told me of an experience in which they are immersed that boggled my mind.  I hate to confess that, although it is in no way humorous, I laughed.  It was that ludicrous.

               First, it starts with a purchase for service on a number of appliances that they obtained upon buying those appliances.  For many years now, they have been renewing (at a cost of ~$500 a year) this service warranty.  It guarantees all service calls for any appliance issue, with a mere $100 deductible.

               Sounds reasonable, but wait for it.

               A month or six weeks ago, the lid to their washing machine broke.  A repair man arrived, collected their $100 and said it was easily fixed with a part that he would order immediately.  That part should arrive in 4 or 5 days.

               Said part did arrive, and it came to their house with a repairman and his “apprentice.”  My friends left them to install the new lid clasp.  Fifteen or twenty minutes later, they went into the laundry room to see what the progress was.  I mean, installing a new lid hook (in my opinion) isn’t a huge deal, right?

               What they found was that the lid was off the machine.  So was the back, which meant both sides had fallen away.  The pump was out on the floor, with several other parts.  I confess, this was a bit alarming, but this is when I started to laugh.

               My friends indicated that the entire machine, including the lid, was re-assembled after an interminable amount of time.  This is when they began to think that the “repairman” was not the best choice to have an apprentice.  They were more right than they knew!

               Happy to not have to go to the Laundromat another time, they used their washer a few days later.  The lid stayed shut.  The washer began to leak water all over the floor!  They stopped the load, removed it, and headed to the Laundromat, first contacting their “service” provider.

               This provider sent a second repairman out to check into the issue.  He appeared to be competent!  He informed them that he could see the problem and could easily fix it.  He also said this was the “third time” he had had to clean up a mess made by the first fellow.  He called his supervisor to report, and then informed my friend that his supervisor wanted “the first guy” to return and fix his own error.

               I already knew where this was headed.  My friends were headed to the Laundromat indefinitely.  And the first “repair”man?  He was scheduled to come on Thursday, but didn’t show up.  Then for Friday and no show.  Saturday?  Nope.  Monday?  No show again.  They aren’t sure when, if ever, he will return.

               Oh, and the service time “window?”  Apparently, it’s more like an arboretum.  The window to be available is 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.  My friends are out $500 for the agreement, $100 for the service call, $100 (so far) for the Laundromat, and have to stick around their house all day for someone who isn’t showing up.  When they call?  They get the automated response program, not a real person.

               It might be easier, faster, and cheaper to get a new washing machine. Certainly, it would be better for their mental health!

You’ve heard of KISS – keep it simple, stupid.  Well, I have noticed of late that those around me – and likely me, as well – tend to complicate things overly much.

I have some examples, of course. 

For years, I have been annoyed by sportscasters who talk about the “keys to the game” and what “strategies” some coach or other should employ to win the game.  In my experience (and at my age, that’s a lot of experience), the team with the most points at the end of the game wins.  So….score more points.  It’s that simple.

The same premise counts, in my opinion, regarding books, television shows, and movie.  People will talk about aspects of these media things like scenery, character development, nuance, and costumes, but for me, I just want to know if it was a good story.   We give out awards for things like artistic direction, photography, editing, and all kinds of other things in movies and television shows, but only one award for writing.  The plot is the big thing for me.  If it was a good story, I’m excited to read it or watch it.    If not….I’ll pass.  It’s that simple. 

Take the following case in point – a film I saw in 2012 with a best friend.  It got great critical reviews.  It won two awards (best foreign film and best costumes) and was nominated for several others.  The acting, I guess, was considered amazing.  But I didn’t really think so for one simple reason:  the story stunk.  It was horrible and boring. It was about an artist and long scenes (I mean really, really long) were filmed watching him watch a model.  Or look at a brook.  Or we were staring at his arthritic hands – for a long time.  At one point,  I left the theater for the bathroom and when I came back, several minutes later at least, the scene had not changed!  This is all I remember about this movie, because the actual story was ….nonexistent. 

For me, the story is everything.  It’s that simple.

I can and do apply this principle to cooking.  I love to watch internet and Facebook shows with recipes, but I do get impatient when the headline says “simple, easy meal” and…it’s not.  Often, the headline will say “3 ingredients,” but it turns out there are 7.  I’ve seen videos where the person says, “This simple recipe is one that I feed my family all the time.” It takes 90 minutes to prepare, uses 14 ingredients, and then takes an hour to bake.  That’s not easy, or simple.  This person clearly doesn’t work full time.  At least, when I worked, I did not have 2 ½ hours to make dinner!  If you want me to think a recipe is easy, it has to have 3 ingredients or less, take 5 minutes to prepare, and cook for less than an hour. It’s that simple.

Yesterday, I was with a friend in a new deli and I noticed a certain brand of potato chips for sale there.  I was excited and said, “Oh those are just the best.” She asked me, “What makes them the best?”  I guess I could have said a lot of things, but what came out of my mouth was, “The taste.”   It’s that simple!