It’s that time of year! Time to get just the slightest bit panicky about those last “difficult” people on your list – and what in the world to get them! Usually, my Christmas shopping is done and ready to go before Halloween. But there are always just those two or three people that I can’t figure out what to give.
As for me, I’m easy. A jigsaw puzzle, a book, or a candle and I’m a happy camper. Throw in a soup mix or some new cookie mix and I’m all sugarplummy. But then there’s my sister-in-law. She has everything. She needs nothing. And worst of all – she wants nothing. By the way, same can be said for my husband, who tops my “what in the world can I get him?” list every year. So, I began to look for the most unique, most useful, most interesting gift ideas. And, saints be praised, I found a few. Just enough to get those folks on my “OH NO” list moved to the “it’s all good” list.
During my search, I found some gift ideas that were beyond unique. They were so unusual (and often so NOT useful), that they bordered on ludicrous. Some of them crossed that border and moved into “what in the world are they thinking” land.
In case you have a person or two for whom gift ideas are really stumping you, I will share a few of my more bizarre finds. Perhaps one might appeal to you! I have thoughtfully only included items that are less than ten dollars.
For stockings that are hard to fill, I found possum flavored candy canes. A 3.8 ounce box is only $6.99. Now, as for me, I don’t eat roadkill and have never tasted possum, so I can’t vouch for the authenticity of the flavoring. But if nothing else, it would be something of which the recipient is unlikely to get a duplicate. You have to go to a special website for this, but I doubt shipping is much.
At Target, you can purchase a screaming goat. The advertisement says “it’s back” (you mean they’ve sold this before??!!). It’s a 3-inch goat figurine, decked out in an ugly holiday sweater, Santa hat, and jingle bell collar. When you press the mound base, it’s “signature” goat scream plays. All this joy for only $6.48.
For the young ones in your life who seemingly have everything, stay at Target and get them a 12-inch peanut butter and jelly stuffed “animal.” Why, you ask? No idea. It looks as awful as it sounds, and it’s $8.99.
For kids of all ages, you can shop at Temu (never heard of this site before and I am not necessarily recommending it) and get something called Mini Screaming Pickles. I tried to look up what they did, as it seemed a bargain for only $4.28, but the site is quite difficult to navigate. Only buy this if you are very brave. And very desperate.
Finally, on Etsy, I discovered the true holiday delight – Capypooper Toothpaste Topper. For the low price of $8.95, you can put a capybara topper on your toothpaste and the toothpaste will be squeezed onto your brush from the capybara’s….poopy place. Yep. It actually looks worse than it sounds, if that’s possible.
If you are desperate enough to try any of these ideas, I’m glad to be of help. And remember, books, puzzles, or candles for me.

There’s a grocery store in our area that has a Starbucks inside it. They used to give us little cup holders to put on the side of our cart, but I guess people left them out, threw them away, or took them home, because they don’t anymore. So if you get a drink while you’re shopping you either have to (a) carry it and try to push the cart with one hand or (b) try to balance the cup of steaming liquid (or icy liquid) in your cart somewhere. I can’t speak for others, but this is an accident waiting to happen for me. Meanwhile, across town is another grocery store that has not one, but TWO, cup holders BUILT IN to their carts – both small and large carts! It would be great, but there’s no coffee shop in the store.

Speaking of large and small carts, I don’t understand why people can’t put carts back in the cart corrals correctly. Even at the store that post huge signs (SMALL CARTS HERE! LARGE CARTS HERE!), there is a mish-mash of carts that some poor schmuck has to pull out, one at a time, to get organized to return to the store. I guess any old way into the corral is better than leaving the cart in the parking lot to roll around, scraping other cars in the wind, or taking up an entire parking spot.

Here’s another thing I don’t get: why do bun-makers package hot dog bun in packages of 8? Every hot dog maker in the world packages the actual dogs in sets of 10 (sometimes in convenient 5-packs tied together, so you could freeze one pack). If I want these things to come out evenly, I have to purchase 80 of each and I rarely have that many people over for franks.

There are, apparently, a few different definitions of the word “Yield” on street signs. In our town, I believe when you see “yield to pedestrians” or “pedestrians have the right of way,” it means when you see a pedestrian in the crosswalk, or approaching the crosswalk, you should slow and stop. Some people seem to think that when you see people in or approaching, it means continue at your current rate of speed until the last minute, and then screech to a halt (thereby inducing heart palpitations on those folks walking). Some think it means speed up and get through the crosswalk before the person gets to the center (sort of like a MarioKart game). A few others seem to think “yield” means “go as fast as you possibly can without looking in either direction because you’re the most important.”

Sports analysts make me crazy, too. These folks are paid a lot of money to explain what a given team must do to win the game: the winning plays, the strategies, the tricks and tips. They spend hours a week doing this! For me, I’ve always thought it was pretty straight-forward. The team that wins is the one who scored the most points. Has it ever happened that the team with the best coach, best strategy, best plays, and best tricks won a game in which they didn’t outscore the opponent? Didn’t think so.

These same experts drive me just a tad nuts when they mix sports’ metaphors and catchphrases. The other day, I heard one proclaim “and it’s in the paint!” He was referring to a touchdown in football, but just listening I would have though he meant a basketball lay-up. Later, his cohort said, “that’s a grand slam,” referring to a pick-six. Again, describing football with a (not appropriate) baseball term.

The older I get, the less I understand, it seems.

It’s November! So much going on! As I write this, polls are closing on our 2024 election. By tomorrow, hopefully, we will know the outcomes of the many people and issues on the ballot. It’s my hope and fervent prayer that the results, whether they be pleasing to people or not, are accepted with grace and dignity.
Past Election Day, we will soon have Veterans’ Day. November 11th is a day set aside to honor those of our country who have served us as part of the military, past or present. I won’t give you a history lesson on the origins of this holiday, but I am proud of all the members of my family who have served – my dad in the Army during WWII, my brothers in the Marines and Navy during the Vietnam Conflict, my uncle-in-law in the Air Force during WWII, and our nephew in the Marines during the Gulf Wars.
Just a couple of short weeks later, we have Thanksgiving Day – a day to be thankful for our many blessings, to gather with family and friends, to praise God (or whatever higher power we honor), and to eat. And eat. And eat. Sometimes we go to a movie in the afternoon or evening and enjoy popcorn (because there’s always room for popcorn) before returning home for turkey sandwiches.
Before Thanksgiving leftovers have been boxed up, many of us will be out there shopping, or online shopping. My Black Friday is spent at the kitchen table, in front of a lovely fire and cocoa (if it’s chilly), addressing and signing our Christmas cards. Usually, I watch a couple of movies, or four, during this. My favorites to write cards to are because I’ve seen them so often, I don’t really need to watch. Just listening and I can picture every scene. I start with White Christmas, then The Santa Claus, then Christmas with the Kranks, and end up with either Christmas in Connecticut or Remember the Night.
That weekend we always work at the Hospice gift shop. It’s illumination of the tree in the town square and an exciting weekend. Plus, it’s the big Ohio State – TTUN game and we never miss that!
The very next day begins Advent. We start with a calendar, a candle lighting, and getting ready for our church’s annual Advent dinner and play. Advent calendars – for us – involve toy trucks, candy, and jigsaw puzzles. Every day is a treat, and a chance to give thanks and praise for the holiday season and our many blessings.
Twenty-four packed-with-activity-days later, Christmas arrives. These activities include trips to visit light displays, attending Christmas concerts, and the Advent dinner and play. Our Christmas celebrations continue with the decorating of trees and house on the second weekend of the month. On the 22nd, we will lead our Sunday School Class (and it’s our 40th anniversary). Christmas Eve will have a little appetizer and drink party before church. Then the big day! A Christmas breakfast (coffee cake, egg casserole and yummy coffee), gift exchanges with our nearest and dearest, a wonderful dinner, and collapse into our chairs to watch a holiday movie.
Somewhere in all that, I will find time to watch each and every new Hallmark holiday movie that is shown, because…well, it’s Hallmark.
Whatever the next 49 days brings to any of us, I hope it includes peace of mind, good health, and appreciation for the blessings of each day. It’s crazy and hectic, but it can be fun, meaningful and full of grace. It’s a choice.

Covid-19 hit the United States hard in 2020. It shut down businesses, made toilet paper a prized and hoarded item, and killed a lot of people. Many of my near and dear contracted it; a few didn’t survive. It was devastating.
The vaccine became available in 2021 for us, and as I was most grateful to have escaped the virus, I happily was inoculated. I continued my shots and boosters through 2023 and in fact, was due for my next poke in November.
You know what happens when you skate around disaster for a long time – like four years? You get just a little cocky. People I knew still got Covid and I felt for them, but I hadn’t gotten it! Despite going to weddings, church services, parties, and restaurants, I never got the virus.
Even being exposed to people who had it, I escaped. I grew complacent. I assumed it wouldn’t happen to me. It had been four years, I was healthy, and this just wasn’t going to be in my garden.
Until it was.
Both my husband and I contracted Covid – who knows where? Could have been that high school reunion (so many people came in on airplanes, hugging and squeezing…). Could have been church (communion and sharing of the peace simply do not mix, and that’s a rant for another day). Could have been going to the grocery store (people coughing all over the place there). Could have been me going back to work for a week (was supposed to be longer, but, you know…Covid). We’ll never know how we got it, but got it we did.
I was about a day behind my husband, and even then I thought I would escape, but that was not in the cards.
It hit me later, and unfortunately, a bit harder than my husband. I am now on day 13 of congestion and coughing, which is better than day 2’s fever, headache, and coughing. Most of my symptoms are gone; I’m just left with the terrible sinus congestion. Hubby seems to be on the mend and nearly well!
So while I’m pretty ticked off that I did not, in fact, escape the virus, I am grateful for many things.
I’m grateful that my husband and I are going to survive. That’s pretty huge, because we lost several dear ones to this disease and I did not want to be in that group!
I’m grateful for family and friends who dropped food off on our porch (yummy food and much of it!).
I’m grateful that while I can’t breathe easily through my nose, I can still taste and smell, so that food is even more appreciated!
I’m grateful that while I have to sleep sitting upright, I can sleep.
I’m grateful my husband is getting better and doesn’t seem to mind taking care of me – including watching Hallmark movies!
I’m grateful the headache left after two days and I can read and do jigsaw puzzles.
I’m grateful to be alive and recovering and hope that this makes me more empathetic to folks who are ill when I have the chance.
Yep, it stinks to be sick, but there’s still a lot of room for thanks and praise! Amen.