Getting Older 2.0

Many of the following thoughts came from Stefanie Pettit’s 2018 article. I’ve just caught up with her…and added a few of my own.
1. Stephanie said, “I see people out there zip lining and mountain climbing, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.”
If you are a person of a certain age, I expect you’ll be laughing at that opening sentence, or at least agreeing. I have the most risk for falls just trying to get one leg into underwear or pants in the morning.
2. Some of my friends, like my husband, exercise every day. Meanwhile, I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
This is true only on the off chance I actually get the remote. My hubby is usually “in charge” of this device. Occasionally, well, okay, often, he falls asleep with a death grip on the thing. I’ve watched more soccer games and weird animal shows that I care to remember – all because if I try to gently extricate the remote from his grip, he wakes up and says “Wha? I was watching that!”
3. I don’t mean to interrupt people, but I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
This one happens all the time, especially with those of us having hearing impairments. Conversations with people zip and zoom along, people talk over one another, subjects changing quickly. Those of us who don’t hear so well are often a beat or two behind.
So the conversational topic may have moved from foods we like to results of the recent election, when in the midst of someone’s animated oratory about political ethics, one lone voice pipes in: “I think mashed potatoes with cheese are better than French fries.”
That’s followed by a stunned or awkward moment of silence. I’ve experienced that one myself.
Now unless someone has dementia or other ailment, this is that aging-interrupting-time-lag thing. Normal, and understood by boomers everywhere.
4. You know you’re getting old when you talk about every other driver on the road for their lack of driving skill or etiquette – or both.
Surely you have followed someone on the freeway with a turn signal blinking mile after mile. People who speed around in parking lots, who pull out in front of you, who cut you off – these are all folks we love to vetch about!
5. Eating and drinking after hours used to be “last call”.
Now it’s “hmmm…I can’t drink this water, it’s after 8 p.m.” Or “uh-oh, I can’t have onions past 7 p.m.” It’s all about trying to get a full nights’ sleep with minimal trips to the bathroom or indigestion.
Getting older is no easy feat, that’s for sure. And by the way, mashed potatoes with cheese are the best!