Most of us who watch television for any length of time have become aware of the annoying trend of advertising of medications. I can’t watch even an old re-run of Andy Griffith without being assaulted by some commercial for skin medication, or asthma medication, or hemorrhoid medication, each of which carries side effects which are scarier than the diseases they treat.
I’ve become used to hearing these commercials – or, to be more accurate – watching the happy people dance, or bathe, or play tennis while I quickly press “mute” on my remote. I’m so immune to them that I rarely give them a second thought.
That changed today. I heard from an old friend. We hadn’t spoken in a while, and our phone connection was a little static-y, but we caught up on family, movies, and books we’ve read this summer. I asked about her health and she told me that her doctor had put her on a new medication which she had just started and hoped it would be helpful.
It was likely the bad connection, but I swear she told me the name of this new medication was “blimp-aside.”
After we ended our call, I stewed about this a little. I mean, the names of all these medications are often ridiculous, but “blimp-aside” seems to be a direct dig at people who struggle with their weight. Although, if this medicine works and the blimpishness goes away, I might give it a try. Of course, it has to have limited side effects. I don’t want headaches, nausea, dizziness, boils, locusts, or suicidal thoughts. I’ll just be fat, thank you.
By the way, I checked, and I totally misheard the name of this drug. I won’t say what it is – HIPPA and all that – but it definitely is not blimp-aside.
The more I pondered this whole conversation, though, the more I think that “blimp-aside” is a more meaningful name, and gives more insight into what the drug might do, than most of what I hear on television.
Usually, there’s some drug name that has seemingly omitted consonants (or vowels) and based on the dining, golfing, or dancing people, it’s hard to tell what the drug treats. So they want you to ask your doctor about, for example, “TONOXQ” but I don’t know what it’s for. So what do I say? “Hey, doc, do you think Tonoxq would help me?” “Help you with what?” he’ll say. “I dunno, but I sure would love to dive off a pier like the people in that commercial do.”
He’ll be calling the men in white coats. So I think “blimp-aside” gives you real insight into what the drug does. It’s my new calling, I think. I have other ideas!
How about a drug to help minimize arthritis pain? We can call that “limp-aside.” People who struggle with acne? We can name the new medicine for them “pimp-aside.” And if folks need meds to enhance their cosmetic surgery, we’ll just call that “frump-aside.”
What would you say “rump-aside” would treat? See? It’s much easier. And people can sing, dance, or eat BBQ. That’s still fun. We’ll just know what the medicine we’re asking our doctor about is really supposed to treat.
By the way, I made “TONOXQ” up. It’s not real. But I’m sure it will be developed to treat boils and the side effects will include….
this is one of your best yet!!! I have become a firm “disliker” of most medications – especially those that are advertised on TV and radio – like Ozympic and others – even regularly used stuff like Ibuprofen – have come under extreme scrutiny due to the side effects being worse than the disease they are supposed to “treat” – treating symptoms versus disease is now a lost art – too much money being given to the people that push them and to the doctors that prescribe them, too – and how many of them are made in countries – like China – who do not really like us – do they give it to their people??? HA! we need to know things!!!