New, but Possibly Not Improved

Last week I was on a tangent about the fact that on our new phones (iPhones, androids, cellular of any kind), there is no “hang up” feature.  I mean really, if you don’t have a landline, and especially if you’ve never had one, you really are missing out on one of life’s guilty pleasures-hanging up on someone and knowing what they hear on the other end. 

               Improved phones probably makes sense.  Now we can email, get text messages, take and post pictures, read the news, and play games – all on our telephone. In order to do all these things, the makers have taken them from flip phones to large rectangles.  So large, in fact, that you might as well carry around a computer tablet. I mean they don’t really fit well into any normal pants’ pocket and unless you carry around a tote bag, they don’t fit in clutches or dance purses very well.  You might get the phone in, but you won’t get your keys, lipstick, or money in there with it.

               So in my humble opinion, the “new, improved” phones stink.  And the biggest way they stink is that now people expect everyone to have their phone attached to their hand at all times to be at someone else’s beck and call.  To go out for an evening and not carry your phone, apparently, is some kind of social gaffe that’s nearly unforgiveable.  Some folks think it’s unthinkable.  Again, this is just my opinion, but if I take the time out of my life to be with someone, then I don’t appreciate them whipping out their phone every two minutes saying, “Sorry, I have to take this.”
               Of course, in the last year, I haven’t been with anyone, so maybe that particular pet peeve will have resolved itself.

               There are a couple of other products that modern technology has made worse through improvements.  The first is alarm clocks.  I realize that most people use their phones to wake up these days.  (Again, with the all-purpose phone).  Sadly, phone makers don’t make phones loud enough to wake me, or anyone, up from a sound sleep.  All it does is run my battery down.

               Then there are digital alarm clocks that can wake you with lights, music of your choice, or the sounds of the rainforest.  Well, none of these actually wake me up. They just change the dream I’m having to something else.  I need that little, gold, wind-up alarm clock that, when it rings, sounds like a five-alarm fire warning.  It was much less expensive than any digital clock I’ve purchased and much more effective.  It also didn’t depend on a battery or an electrical outlet – I just had to remember to wind it every night.  I could always program my phone to send me a reminder, if that’s an issue.  Then I’d have the best of both worlds.  But try to find a real alarm clock these days.  Good luck.

               Pencil sharpeners.  There’s another big fail. All those battery-operated pencil sharpeners are terrible.  First of all, they work effectively for about two days. Then, as the juice in the battery lowers, they don’t sharpen the pencil at all.  You spend about five minutes pushing that pencil in and twirling it around and it comes out as dull as when you started.  Now, the electric ones are wonderful, they will chip firewood if you need them to, but who wants a massive box on their desk, that has to be plugged into an outlet? They are large, unattractive, and have to be put on a level surface with nothing in front of it when you use it.  Honestly, the grinder ones that we had in school are small, clip on anywhere, and always worked.  I don’t think we can improve on them, but someone felt that it was too much work to rotate the handle, I guess.

               New, maybe, but not always improved. 

2 Comments

  1. JOHN LLEWELYN

    you are still the best at nailing things from real life that are NOT better – just more electricity needed or battery and battery life- keep up the good work – I(me) AM sending a packet of your stuff to Readers Digest this week – they need to put these into their issues and let people have a good read!! Consider it an early birthday gift, if they contact you for some financial giftings as you unofficial “manager” !!!! love ya!

  2. Betty Hopper

    Susie, the best pencil sharpener I ever had was my grandpa. I don’t have him anymore. He went to Heaven in 1961. He could sharpen a pencil perfectly. He always told me to never sharpen my pencil at school. The sharpener will just eat up your pencil. No battery needed, no electricity, just two hands and a pocket knife.
    And these new-fangled phones are nice for taking pictures, texting and the convenience of taking them with you in case you need to make an emergency call. Back in the early 60’s we had a party-line phone. Yes, you had to share your phone line with another person; maybe two or three. One day I heard my three-year-old toddler laughing and gibbering away excitedly. She had discovered that the big black thing with a long, curly cord setting on the end table could talk to you. I went over to apologize to the party on the other end of the line and the person was fuming! Oh, how good it felt to slam the phone down so hard I’m surprised I didn’t break it! How rude the words she was saying to a little toddler.
    Susie, I do have that little, gold, wind-up Baby Ben and I love it! Of course, being retired, I don’t have to use it much.
    Love your Snippets! Keep writing!

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