New Ideas for the Times

Last weekend I was walking our dog with my friend, who was walking her own dog.  We were having a grand time (6 feet apart, etc.) and the dogs were enjoying it.  The weather was wonderful and we were admiring the snow in the woods where we were walking.  I had on the appropriate outer garments for walking outside in February and was quite comfortable – except for my knees.  The arthritis in them was taking notice of the cold and damp and letting me know that they were not comfortable.  We ended our discussion, my knees and I, with them threatening me that they would lock up later and make me very sore and stiff.  They are gals of their word, sadly.  

               I commented about this to my friend and she said, “You know what we need?  We need knee warmers.”

               She’s right!  I don’t need total leg warmers, like those that were the rage many years ago.  I need just some kind of insulated bands that will stretch and move with my knees.  I even have a cute name – Kneedy Knees.  We talked about our idea for this all the way home, where we promptly forgot all about it.

               But my stiff, sore knees this morning reminded me that this might be, in fact, a great idea to patent.

               This made me think of another idea I had several years ago.  I believe there are at least two full generations of people who use phones and have never had the rather satisfying experience of hanging up on someone.  Not only is hanging up a powerful message to the receiver, as the person getting it hears a loud click in his/her ear and then the dial tone, but it feels good to slam that receiver down and know exactly what the person is hearing. 

               It’s a non-violent way to express displeasure and we need more non-violent ways to do that.  So I think I should come up with an “app” for people’s phones, so when you press it, the call is disconnected.  But first, the receiver of the call hears the click and then a dial tone.  The person using the call gets that same feeling of satisfaction. 

               These days, you don’t even know when someone’s hung up.  You end up saying, “Hello?  Hello?” until you figure out they’ve either ended the call or the call was lost.  There’s no satisfaction in that.  I think it would be especially helpful for those annoying calls from car warranty places, insurance companies, and sketchy “charities.”

               I have one more idea and it was born of the pandemic.  I find that wearing a mask during the winter months in the Midwest is a really super idea.  No more chapped cheeks!  No more wind making my eyes sting and my lips turn to dust. But my ears still get cold. I want to invent a mask that covers my ears, in addition to going around them to keep the mask in place.  That way, I’m protected from viruses as well as from cold weather on all my sensitive face parts.

               Patents pending, of course!